A Memorial for My Mind.

To anyone, and mostly to myself,

This is my second post of the night, and most likely my last. I just wanted to let myself know, and whoever is reading, a little about what went on today, in my life.

I guess sleeping in was what I do best, the morning never excited me, and today nothing really changed. I woke up at 12:00, noon, somewhere around then. I guess if I am a couple minutes off it wouldn't matter too much. I woke up thinking about crap, usually always do, even though I live in my dreams, and my dreams are usually made up of what I want but can't have, I never wake up happy. When I do, I usually get up and check my phone, or am woken up by three loud beeps. The text usually says something like, "Morninnnng," or "Wake up dragon breath!" This makes me smile, but I haven't really smiled in over a half a year.

Bowl of cereal, and this is how my breakfast at home usually is. One bowl of cereal, nothing really more, even if I am hungry when I get done I try to hold back the temptation to eat so I can maintain some sort of figure I go to the gym everyday to acquire.

I usually start off my day by writing, if writing comes easy, and usually it has been, my mind has been clear, and my days have been great! I am receiving great grades in school and just recently received an "A" on my creative writing: fiction project. Which really excited me, it was a great accomplishment for me because it is an example of trying my hardest. Just the fact that getting an "A" on my own writing makes me feel amazing. Today I wrote, not much, at all, but I did write. I write slow, not usually, but this novel I am trying to take my time on. I am trying to create something greater than my first novel, which I need to edit and send out to publishers before I die.

My first novel is called Memorial.

The day was just filled with skateboarding, something to get out and have fun, and really nothing in my honest opinion is more fun than skateboarding. I am not too bad at skateboarding, no where near professional, or even amateur status, but I love doing it. It takes my mind off of everything and for the day I can just have a great time with my friends.

The thing that have been on my mind shouldn't and I feel like a fucking retard thinking about the things I have been thinking about. Even though my relationship with Anna Mclean has been over for almost 7 months, my mind still wanders back to her, and I couldn't tell anyone why. I spent the last 2 years with Anna, and she was important to me, what she did to me was horrible but when it was good, it was great. For the two years that I was with her she was the most important thing in my entire life.

I feel ashamed 7 months down the road thinking about her, and she would probably agree with me that I am pathetic. She is far away from here, and is enjoying her life, and I am still here thinking about her. (occasionally) I have to add that because she is never usually on my mind, there are other things I think about, but she is one of them. I don't care if she thinks about me, which she probably doesn't.

There is more to come, tomorrow. Right now I am tired, and need some sort of sleep.